Screw Technology!
by Yorozuya Gin-san
Summary: [Tango] Sanada hates technology. Atobe buys him a phone. Akaya hits Marui in the face with a phone. Sanada's little crack story.


Screw Technology!

Sanada Crack Fic. :D I'm so retarded. (You can call me an idiot too if you wanna...) You might have to read Atobe-Sensei to understand this...

* * *

Sanada twitched.

"Gen, calm down." He heard Yukimura say to him.

That made Sanada twitch even more.

"Calm down, Genichirou." Yukimura said again in that soft calming voice of his. (I don't know about calming... but it calms me!)

Sanada was twitching so much it was like he had some sort of twitching problem.

By now Yukimura was patting Sanada's back and trying to calm the poor boy down. "Come on Genichirou, take deep breaths. In, out. In, out. Good."

When Sanada FINALLY calmed down he threw his phone against the tennis court fence. "Screw technology." He grumbled.

Yukimura sighed. "Gen, what did I just tell you about calming down? You don't throw phones to calm down. Now pick up your phone."

Sanada walked over and picked up his phone and receiving a "Good job, Gen." from Yukimura. Sanada removed the batteries and threw it at some random direction. "Screw technology." He grumbled yet again.

"Buchou, why is fukubuchou throwing his phone around?" Kirihara asked.

"He's trying his best to calm down, Akaya." Yukimura replied.

"...by throwing a phone? Why don't I do that? STUPID FIRST YEAR!" Akaya pulled out his phone and threw it somewhere.

"...Akaya, what did I tell you about throwing phones?" Yukimura lectured.

"Only to throw them when it is absolute necessary?" He asked.

"Yes. Now was that really necessary?" Yukimura said.

"COOL! IT HIT MARUI-SENPAI IN THE FACE!" Akaya bursted into laugher. "...now he's going to kill me."

Yukimura just smiled. "Now, Akaya, please leave Gen and I alone so we can figure out how to calm him down. Why don't you take your time being chased by Marui?"

Akaya was off before Yukimura finished his sentence but Yukimura thought it would be better if he finished his sentence.

By now Sanada was dismembering his phone. There was a lot of bolts and wires. Of course, he was also grumbling, "Screw technology... it only makes us pay."

Yukimura shook his head. "No Gen, you don't destroy a phone because you don't like technology. How many times do I have to say it?"

"..." Sanada picked up what's left of his cell phone and put it away in a small plastic bag. "I'll just practice then." He said.

Once Sanada left, Yukimura said, "Genichirou and his technology thing... (sighs) When will he stop killing phones?"

* * *

"Genichirou, how dare you not pick up your phone when Ore-sama called you!" Atobe said frowning.

Sanada took out the bag with the phone pieces, "This is what's left of my phone, Keigo."

"...It's just a bunch of wires and bolts."

"I know."

"How dare you destroy your phone just because you hate listening to Ore-sama!"

"...You think I _want_ to destroy my phone?"

"Well, you _did_ say that you hated technology."

"Screw technology."

"...Ore-sama will buy you a new phone."

Sanada shook his head. "You don't have to Keigo... (really, you DON'T have to...)"

"No, Ore-sama insists."

"... I have no further comments."

"Genichirou, why is it that every time Ore-sama buys you a phone, it either gets dismembered or it gets destroyed in anyway possible?" Atobe asked.

"..."

"Answer Ore-sama."

"..." Sanada picked up his bag and left. Yes, he just picked up his bag and LEFT.

Atobe frowned. "... You better be answering Ore-sama sometime soon."

"Screw technology..." Sanada muttered.

* * *

"Ore-sama bought you a new phone!" Atobe handed Sanada a phone with SO many buttons that you couldn't count it.

"..." Sanada just stared at the THING. "...This is a phone?"

"Ore-sama knows. He has good taste, no?"

"..." Sanada twitched and managed to mumbled out a "thank you."

"You're welcome. Now don't break it."

Practice...

"Whoa fukubuchou, since when did you have phones like that? It has so much buttons..." Niou said.

"...Since when did Sanada-san learned to get phones like those?" Akaya asked. "I mean, he's always grumbling about technology and how they ruined our world..."

The phone rung.

"...Sanada, you have to answer it." Niou said.

"I'm trying to." Sanada was pushing random buttons. "No, not that..."

"I think it's the green one." Akaya pushed the green button.

"...You rejected the call." Niou said.

"..." Sanada gave Akaya a stern look. A look that probably meant: RUN 5,000 LAPS.

The phone rung yet again.

Sanada was pushing all the buttons he could find. He looked at Niou.

"...Why are you looking at me?" Niou asked. "I don't know how to use that thing!" Niou ran off.

"..."

_You have one missed call._

The phone rang again.

Sanada continued pushing random buttons.

_You have one missed call._

An hour later...

_You have 47 missed calls._

"..." Sanada was STILL trying to figure out how to use it.

The phone rang again.

By that time, Sanada decided to give up.

Marui walked by and saw Sanada with his new high tech phone. "Sanada-san, you're supposed to push this button." He pointed to the button on the screen that says "answer."

"..." Sanada pushed the said button.

"Genichirou... Ore-sama had to call you 48 times for you to answer..." Atobe said in a dark voice.

"..." Sanada hung up.

_Ring! Ring!_

"..."

_Ring! Ring!_

"Screw technology..."

Later...

"Coach... there's a phone in the pool." Said a pool club member.

"Well why is there a phone in the pool?! Get it out!" The coach screamed at the poor boy.

"...Why do I always have to do things like these?" The boy muttered. "Stupid screaming coach..."

* * *

"Ore-sama demands to know why you hung up on him."

"...I hate technology..." Sanada replied emotionlessly.

"..."

"..."

Atobe scribbled on his little note pad:

**DON'T GET GENICHIROU A COMPUTER FOR HIS BIRTHDAY!!!**

Fin.

:D Poor Sanada and his ability to hate all technology.


End file.
